i just want some sleep

my brain is trying to xquery my xml dreams
i hate it when my work follows me home
my head needs a truncate function

flu shots

one in each arm:
seasonal and H1N1.
sore shoulders make
sleeping a challenge.

i don't get it...

i got spam today:

subject: why pay more?
body: does your cock suck?

that's it...!
what's the point of sending me that?

when i hear or read about a movie

i'll avoid watching trailers and reading reviews.

my main criteria for choosing to view:

1) IMDB rating of 8 or higher
2) more than a 1000 votes

i like being surprised.

though, this can backfire...

i recently picked up a copy of Oldboy
without knowing anything about it
except for it's several awards.

the surprise? incest!

while watching, i thought to myself
"that wouldn't happen... that would never happen!
why would i even think that? that's sick! what's wrong with me?"

then it happened. it. happened. the twist: incest.

clearly my movie selection criteria
needs further refining!

the zeros

is a stupid name for this decade...
hopefully the media can come up with
something better in the next year and a bit

the 90s feel like only yesterday

I shudder to think of a time
when some kid will reference
Gucci Mane, Lil Wayne & T-Pain
as classic old school shit, yo

weekday discovery

the grocery store is full of old people.

is this what i can look forward to?

what they don't tell you in all the
freedom 55 advertisements is how
you'll spend the rest of your days.

early bird breakfast followed by
electric mobility scooter rallies
to the supermarket. BEEP BEEP!

i went to work saturday

and got today off.

it's much easier
to get stuff done
without distractions.

maybe i can permanently
shift my work week and then
do all sorts of weekday stuff like
bums, children and retired old people.

i've discovered

a new diet: H1N1
lost 12 lbs in
1.5 weeks
FML.

i had the craziest dream last night

dunno how, but somehow most of the population on earth had been wiped out. there were about 50 or so people still alive. at some point they divided into two groups; and the groups started fighting and killing each other. then at some point, when the numbers were way down, the remaining few turned into this zombie-like state and were after me. they chased me through empty buildings and through underground train tunnels and through bunkers -- until i reached this helipad. i ran into the chopper with them after me, firing their guns. i think i woke up right after i got in the chopper and realized i don't know how to fly a helicopter.

believe that?? even in my own dream, i'm not Rambo. WTF?

i woke up thinking, "i need some flying lessons!" then i realized i don't live near any such landmarks and decided to forgo it. maybe i'll dream about taking flying lessons tonight then resume last night's dream tomorrow night.

stupid work force

too bad it does you no good in a fight.

you'd be all like "i'm gonna kick your ass, biatch!"
and the other dude would be all in your face
"oh yeah, you and what army, wuss?"

and you bring out the WORK FORCE!
then you and the work force put your hands in
and say "GOOOOOOOOO TEAM" and kick some ass!

too bad...

you know you're getting old

when you don't know anyone
who stays up past 10 pm.
welcome to the work force.

daylight savings time

it's dark when i go to work.
it's dark when i come home.
where did the saved light go?

flander's fields

grew a product:
needs no innovation,
cheap to manufacture,
and guaranteed to sell.
a capitalist's dream,
in mid-november.

messed up tree

mother earth
father time
mistress space
love child continuum

my neighborhood

isn't classy enough
for a Starbucks;

but we've got
the only McDonalds
in the city with a fireplace.

make what you will of that.

a sad realization

emo vampires have a larger
following than Wesley Snipes.
who would have guessed it?
white men can jump.

if i was a nurse at a flu clinic

after administering every shot
i would say "be well citizen"
and see how many got
the reference...

i had this weird dream

at one point you were in it.
you shaved your head.
it didn't look that bad

but the face tattoo?
dude. a little much.

you know it's time to upgrade

when your computer has a hard time
playing hi-def movies and flash games.
how am i meant to kill time while sick?